“Trust me, no one has a copyright on ‘Fuck me harder, baby" or ‘Shit, your pussy feels great.’" (Need more explicit dirty talk advice? Head here!) Give positive affirmations
(Some people, for example, hate being called “bitch” but love being called “slut”-or vice-a-versa.) “If you need some inspiration, watch some porn and borrow a few lines,” suggests Katarina. “Use whatever word that makes you feel the most powerful,” she says.ĭon't be afraid of dirty talk! Before you hit the bedroom, you’ll want to ask your partner which words they like and which words are off limits. Throw out words like “Daddy,” “Sir,” and “Master,” to denote who’s in control, suggests Cory B. “It's dominant, primal, and it says, ‘I have you. “You'll gather up their hair rather than pull it from the tip, which pulls painfully at the roots,” she says. What you’ll want to do is run your fingers through your partner's hair so the palm of your hand is against their scalp. Hair pulling, if done right, can be sexy, controlling, and not painful at all, explains Katarina. That's also a way to exert your dominance. “Eye contact lets them know you're in control.” Cory adds that you can also tell your partner to not look at you. "Nothing says, ‘I am going to fucking devour you,' like steady eye contact before a kiss,” says Katarina. If you go from zero to 60, your partner will be like, “What the heck is going on?” Instead, there are little tweaks you can make in bed that will make you appear and feel much more dominant.
You don’t need to go full Batman voice in order to become more dominant. “After you’ve told them what you want to do, go ahead and say, ‘Nod your head if you’re ok with that.’” Make minor changes in behavior “Saying something like ‘Here’s what I intend to do to you…’ and telling your partner all of the things you plan to do can be really hot,” says Cory. “Talking about it before also gives you and your partner(s) the chance to imagine what it would look like and how you might navigate play,” says Katarina.Įven if you've already discussed what you want to do, you still have to get affirmative consent from your partner when you're actually getting down-and there are ways to do it dominantly.
That way, when you're all horned up, you can just get right to it.
You can do this right before having sex, or you can talk about boundaries well before, when you’re not about to get down and dirty. Before you get naked together, talk to your partner about which things are on the table and which things are not.
How to not cross any boundariesįirst, we need to address how to be dominant consensually. Buckle up, boys, and learn from the pros.
Here, Cory B, a sex educator and kink coach, and Katarina "theDommeKat" Pierce, a fetish wrestler and pro domme, explain how to become more dominant in the bedroom. If you feel extremely uncomfortable commanding your partner sexually or using dirty talk, then maybe it's time to explore a sexual kink that appeals to you both.īut if you do want to become more dominant in bed, and you simply have no idea where to begin, then, my friend, you’ve come to the right place. You shouldn’t do it just to please your partner. Of course, only behave dominantly if it’s something that interests you, too. Now, that’s not a problem if your partner (or partners) doesn't want a more dominant man in the boudoir, but many people do, and if you want to please them, it would help to learn a few tips. But for many men, sexual dominance just doesn’t come naturally in the bedroom. Being dominant during sex can be super hot when it's done respectfully and consensually.